Tuesday, May 7, 2013

The Thing(s) I'm most afraid of

Today's prompt really was a thinker because I could answer very superficially by saying Snakes!  They freak me out.  I'm not sure why but they always have and always will.  But truthfully I'm thinking that's not the way to take this...

I'm afraid of not accomplishing things.  Of being a failure.  Of not having drive.  Not having passion.  Not having follow through.  I'm afraid of wasting my life away by and not leaving my mark on anywhere or anything.


Lately I've had a lot of time to think about my life, where I've been and where I'm going.  As I keep stating, I'm so scared and afraid of the unknown.  I know it doesn't do me any good to worry or fret about the unknown, I just need to put my trust in God and know that he will pull me through.

And on a side note I just have to share this story from a time when someone thought I helped them, but really, they've helped me through some extremely though times just thinking back to this time/experience.

When I was a substitute teacher you don't always make a connection with the students and I had an 8th grader and her friend who hated me.  I'm not sure what I did to cause them to not like me but whatever it was, I sure did it.  I had her later in another class, Math, and she was to retake a test.  She raised her hand and said she didn't have time to study the night before because she was at a Volleyball game so I told her she could use the first 10 minutes to quickly study.  A few minutes later she raised her hand and asked me how to do all these different problems.  I sat down and explained them to her, then she proceeded to take her test.  A couple days later she passed me in the hallway and stopped me to thank me for her B she got on her retake test.  I told her I didn't do anything, she earned that herself.

Anytime I'm having a hard day and feel like I am not making a difference, I remember that story and smile.  At least I was able to help one person.  In fact, from there on out she never gave me fits and if another student in a class she was in was giving me trouble she'd jump down their throat (nicely of course). 



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5 comments:

  1. Some days, I don't have drive to do, well, anything. But it comes and goes, for sure.

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  2. I know that feeling of not knowing if I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing, worrying that I have no drive, worrying that I lack passion. Every time I stop and think about writing and how publishing a novel is supposedly my "dream" - then why haven't I done it? Why haven't I even really *tried*??

    I have faith, though, that everything will be right at the end of the day. And it will be for you too. :)

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  3. Those are all good answers but your first answer is still the best. I hate snakes. I always will. They are ALL poisonous if you ask me. *shivers*

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  4. I too felt that way for a long time just wondering-- but now I am at a point in life where I feel like I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be. It doesn't mean there aren't unknowns and challenges- just overall it is just right.

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  5. Life is so scary and unknown! I just try not to think about all the bad and pray for the good! haha

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